Monday, July 5, 2010

Vampires Just Aren't What They Used to Be

When I was young, a vampire was a scary thing—out to rob you of life so he could remain eternally young. They were usually handsome, but you knew at heart they were evil and dangerous to be around. You wanted the beautiful, but foolish, girl to see her life was in jeopardy and flee to safety.

Now, thanks to New Moon and Eclipse, vampires are all the rage. And, even more shocking, some of them are not evil at all and fight their impulse to bite humans. They are the new superheroes.

I just can’t be that supportive of Edward, the vampire in New Moon and Eclipse. I much prefer Jacob, the werewolf. He is much manlier and has a normal personality—well at least until he turns into a wolf and races through the forest on all fours. I have to totally agree with Jacob when he tells Edward, “I’m much hotter than you.”

I think Edward looks a little sickly and that pasty complexion doesn’t do anything for me. And something about his advanced age (how many years???), makes me think he is totally inappropriate for Bella. And Bella herself, duh, why would any woman want to become a vampire?

I’m thinking Bella must be under a spell to prefer the vampire to the werewolf. My granddaughter says I just don’t get it and has given me advanced warning that Bella takes the plunge in the final book. I told her I think the author is making a big mistake by doing that. She should have eventually had Bella figure out that Jacob is, by far, the better choice. Either that or some serious recasting needs to take place for the next movie.

Do you remember Michael Landon in I Was a Teenage Werewolf? I’m thinking werewolves were always hot.

Yeh, I never was fond of vampires. It’s not that I’m afraid of vampires anymore, but I do know I have always felt a little protective of my neck. That just because I’m ticklish, right?

copyright (c) July 2010 L.S. Fisher

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